By Amy North
Understanding Men: What Men Want
Men want certain things out of a woman, and I’m not talking about sex. These are things that men need from a long term partner if they’re going to stick around.
Men want to feel needed
If he doesn’t feel like you need him, he’ll feel unnecessary, replaceable, and like he’s not a real part of your life. Don’t be a burden but ask for his help when you need it, let him drive the car, or look after you when you’re sick. The primal need to care for a mate creates that strong bond that sustains a relationship. This is true for both men and women.
Men want to feel validated
Make him feel good. You need to build your man up rather than knocking him down. Make sure to regularly provide positive feedback and compliments. Thank him for doing nice things for you. There’s nothing wrong with pumping up his ego every now and again.
Make sure you’re being specific and accurate. If he’s got the body of a potato, don’t go on and on about his rippling abs. Really look at him objectively, see what makes him special, and shout it out. If you can’t find anything to praise him for, you need to find a new man.
Men want to feel secure
Stability is an important part of a relationship. Just like women want a guy who is dependable and solid as a rock, men look for consistency in their partners.
This means having your life together. He wants to know that if you make plans, you’re going to be there on time. While you being flakey and chronically late don’t have anything to do with him, he’s going to take it as evidence that you’re either not interested or inconsiderate.
Men want excitement
This one is more straightforward. They need to be attracted to you. This is a cold, hard truth. You may be able to get a guy to sleep with you but if he’s not attracted to you, he won’t be there the next morning, much less going forward from there. If he’s not attracted to you, he’s not the guy for you.
But excitement is about more than just physical attraction. He needs to feel that electric spark when you’re around. We’ve all been around people who seem amazing on paper but in person there’s just nothing there. It’s a primal thing that you can’t fake.
Keeping him excited is partially about your connection and partially about what you do to keep things interesting. If your only idea of a fun date is Netflix and a giant bag of cheezies, then you need to step up your game. You don’t have to take him on a balloon trip around the world or anything. Being exciting is just about giving him the occasional surprise.
If you can keep him guessing then he’s going to be excited to see you again.
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