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What are the important ingredients for a happy married life?
The first time I made tea for him after marriage was a disaster! He had one sip and grimaced, tried a couple more sips and finally kept the cup down.
I asked him the matter. He hesitatingly told me that he liked his tea weak and milky. And my cuppa was the way I liked it… strong and sweet.
The differences in our likes and dislikes became more apparent in the days to follow. My cosy moments with Md. Rafi and Hemant Kumar were offset by his Dire Straits and AC/DC. My fondness for Rajma chawal (Kidney beans and rice) faced an adversary in him. His heart swam with Mackarels and Salmons… much to my dismay. He calls a spade a spade while I tiptoe around sensitive topics.
We couldn’t be more different. But it’s not that we don’t have things in common. We do. That’s the icing on the cake!
And here we are… more than a decade later, stronger than ever. (Touchwood :p)
How did this happen? Nothing dramatic actually.
We just approached our marriage as a friendship. We learnt to appreciate each other’s likes. We learnt to respect each other’s dislikes. And we strived… strive to find common ground.
For a marriage to be happy it doesn’t take much. Just simple beliefs that go a long way.
- Differences shouldn’t drive the couple apart. They should bring them together as a unit to tackle them.
- Adjustment should be the key word. But not as a chore or responsibility. And definitely not as a compromise. It should be a promise to never let each other go.
- There will be many ups and downs. But it should always be us instead of you and me while facing them.
- Let there be fights. That’s a must for the relationship to thrive completely. But never let the fights corrode the foundation of love!
- Love for the spouse is the heartbeat in the relationship. It may not involve thunder, lightning, violins, angels playing harps and roses blooming suddenly à la Bollywood! Its true beauty lies in its subtlety. It encompasses respect, care, concern, transparency, communication and above all, a connect. Love in all its permutations and combinations ensures a smooth ride for the couple no matter how bumpy the road. Don’t forget the verbalise the emotion as often as possible. It’s the magic dust that infuses new zest in everything it touches :)
- Lastly, there should be a readiness to have fun along the way!
A happy marriage is one where the couple is bound by the common goal of making it happy, making it work. There is no road map to making it successful. Life may and will throw a plethora of questions and issues. But that can’t stop a marriage from being happy. Cos’ all it requires is a duo who says, believes, and acts to ensure that nothing can drive them apart.
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